Martha Monday!

If you have a funny picture of Martha Stewart send it to ReverendArielle@gmail.com and I'll feature it on Martha Monday!

Dirty Talk for Housewives!

Ok, well it's not really dirty talk for housewives. It's actually a scene from the movie "Hebrew Hammer". But it's hilarious, and definitely something I wouldn't mind hearing from time to time. ^_~

"You want me to talk dirty to you?

 You want I should dirty to you? 

Want I should talk dirty to you? 

Alright. 

I wanna have lots of children by you...

I wanna get a stable, good-paying job...

I want to move to Long Island, somewhere fancy, but not fancy schmancy. 

I want for our children to go to private schools. 

Abraham will go to Yale. 

Little Isaac will go somewhere Ivy League, maybe Vassar. 

And everyday, I want you to tell me what to do...

When I should do it...

And how I should live my fucking life!"

Martha Monday!

"Hahaha, I'm such a fucking pimp."

The Hostess (And The Importance Of Gifts)

(For me?)

The literal definition of "Hostess" is a female that provides hospitality, BUT as Domestic Goddesses we know that the real definition of Hostess is "Bitch that runs the show"!


Now lets talk about something that I am a HUGE advocate of: The Hostess Gift. This isn't just for rich people and Europeans, you can do it too! :D


It is polite to bring a hostess gift to a dinner, special occasion gathering (i.e.- Holiday party, etc.), if you are staying overnight at their house, or any event where the hostess has don't all the work to plan and arrange things. It shows your appreciation for the hard work that they've done and at the very least makes you look polite. :) One easy gift idea is of course flowers. If you've been to their house before, buy flowers that match the color scheme of their living room, dining room, or kitchen. This shows much more thoughtfulness and looks better when she displays them. If you've never seen their house, get a nice seasonal arrangement or roses. REMEMBER: Different rose colors have different meanings so make sure you pay attention! You don't want to send her or her spouse the wrong message. Also, if you'd like to be SUPER considerate, buy a vase or get flowers that are already in a container just in case she doesn't have one available.

(Look how happy these people are that they brought a hostess gift!)

Another great gift is of course BOOZE! Now I'm not saying bring over a case of beer (unless she really loves a certain type of beer). A nice wine or bottle of champagne will do. And of course I am always an advocate of Pink Champagne as a hostess gift. It's elegant, delicious, and girly enough so the hostess knows it's just for her. I know I shouldn't have to say this but it happens so I'm going to: If you bring over alcohol (or anything else) as a hostess gift and it doesn't get finished that night DO NOT TAKE IT HOME! It is no longer yours, you gave it as a gift to the hostess, it is extremely tacky to steal it back. Oh and you spending a lot of money on it is not justification. If you have that much of a problem with spending money, gift her a less expensive bottle. It's the thought that counts and stealing back your gift says that you only think about yourself. 
There is however no problem with buying hostess gifts in bulk! See a set of wine glasses on sale super cheap? Go ahead and get them! Maybe add a personal touch by painting them, that way you also have the option of splitting them up or giving them as a set. Caterer gave you a couple extra bottles of wine? Why not store them away to be used as a hostess gift later? 


If you're coming to My house for dinner. A puppy would be an appropriate hostess gift. Preferably something that is small, fluffy, and easy to train. ^_^ J/k


For more fantastical gift ideas, go to the Patron Saint of the Domestic Goddess...Martha Stewart! 

Martha Monday!

If you have a funny picture of Martha Stewart send it to ReverendArielle@gmail.com and I'll feature it on the next Martha Monday!

The most versatile moisturizer you own; ChapStick?

We all know the importance of moisturizing. Sun block every day, day cream, hand cream, cuticle cream, lotion, body butter, in shower moisturizer, hand/feet creams, & night cream.

It is as important to keep your skin young and plump with these little bottled miracles as it is to drink lots of delicious, nourishing water.

But the smart Domestic Goddess knows that ChapStick can be the most versatile of all!

It is no secret that we should all (and usually do) have a good ChapStick or Lip Balm handy.

I have been known to use it on my cuticles, elbows, knees, and even as a last resort eye shadow primer...

This list can also help coach you to use ChapStick when you are really in a pinch, because us Domestic goddesses know how to think on our toes and look fabulous while doing so!

Many uses for ChapStick include:

You can apply medicated Chapstick to blisters to eliminate pain and promote quicker healing. You can also use Chapstick to avoid getting blisters by applying to sensitive areas on feet or heels to prevent friction buildup.

Applying Chapstick liberally to chafed areas not only stops the friction causing the chafing, but also helps promote healing due to its medicinal ingredients.

Applying a tiny amount of Chapstick to eyebrows or to your hair will keep them in place all day long.

A quick dot of Chapstick over a mosquito or insect bite will relieve itching.

Chapstick works great for removing rings that are stuck. Simply apply Chaptick around the ring and the finger and it will slide right off. 

To prevent gardening tools or scissors from locking up or rusting, simply apply a thin layer of Chapstick. You can also prevent erosion on car battery terminals by applying some Chapstick to the terminals.

Need a quick last minute shoe polish? Apply some Chapstick – a quick buff and you are ready to go!

Chapstick is the perfect quick easy solution for nicks and cuts caused by shaving. It will stop the bleeding quickly.

Chapstick is great for helping to heal irritated skin under a sore nose caused by colds. Try applying a thin coat on sore areas a few times a day as needed.

Applying some Chapstick to a stuck or hard-to-close zipper will have it moving up and down with extreme ease.

If you trace your hair line with some ChapStick before you color your hair or rub some on your hands, the color will not stick to your skin!

And there you have it! Domestic Goddess Katie's ChapStick Survival Guide!  

 

Martha Monday!

(It may not be real but it's HILARIOUS!)