Martha Monday! (WTF Edition)

(WTF?!! CREEPY!!!!!!)

If you have a funny picture of Martha Stewart send it to ReverendArielle@gmail.com and I'll feature it on the next Martha Monday!

Listen up Guys!

(Mmmm...I love me some Fabio!)

Martha Monday!

(We all know Snoop would never call Martha a ho!)

 

If you have a funny picture of Martha Stewart send it to ReverendArielle@gmail.com and I'll feature it on the next Martha Monday!

Monster Garden!

If you'd like to try something fun and new with your garden this summer think about planting a "Monster Garden"! Now if you're like me, you're tired of always having those pesky monsters loitering in your yard at night. The Werewolves howl all night long, the Witches are always stealing your herbs, the Vampires are always trying to seduce your high school aged daughters, and don't even get me started on the ghosts! Your Monster Garden will be filled with all sorts of wonderful plants, historically proven to ward off baddies! 

To take care of your Werewolf infestation, plant some Wolfsbane. Wolfsbane is properly known as Aconitum, and thanks to Professor Snape from "Harry Potter" we know it also goes by Aconite and Monkshood. It's other names are Leopard's Bane, Women's Bane, Devil's Helmet, and Blue Rocket.

To keep away Witches you'll want to plant White Horehound and Juniper. White Horehound is known as an "anti-magical" herb and is believed to repel Witches. Juniper not only keeps Witches away but blocks their evil spells!

When it comes to Vampires you can take a couple of approaches. The most obvious would be to plant Garlic in your garden to try to keep them away. While I don't exactly know why Garlic would repel Vampires, I assume that if you had a super sense of smell, Garlic would be pretty repulsive. If the Garlic doesn't work then you can always plant some Hawthorne. While the plant itself won't repel Vampires, it is said that Hawthorne is the most effect plant to make wooden stakes out of. If I were a Vampire, I wouldn't come into a yard that had a bunch of Hawthorne around! ;)

The plants used to repel Ghosts may already be in your garden and you never knew it! Along with having great medicinal and culinary uses, Sage and Fennel have also been used for centuries to keep away Evil Spirits! In Medieval times, fennel seeds where placed inside keyholes to prevent the entry of Ghosts into your home. The burning of dried sage, known as "smudging", is still commonly used to purify a space (i.e.-Your home) and drive out any Negative Spirits that may linger there. 

Finally, circle your garden with a ring of salt to make sure no harm comes to your plants and voilà! You have your very own Monster Garden! 

Martha Monday! (We Are Not Worthy Edition)

(Wait...what? Damn, that bitch really can make anything!)

The Holy Grail of Kitchen Appliances!

*Swoons*

Martha Mondays! (Pity The Fool Edition!)

(Really at this point what HASN'T Martha Stewart done?)

Weekly Chore List?

 I was reading another housewife blog about the typical Weekly Chore List of a 1950's Housewife and I have to admit...I was pretty intimidated.

Here's Why:

1) There's no way that I would/could clean my house that thoroughly all the time. I mean, I clean out my refrigerator (once or twice a month) but I don't CLEAN my refrigerator every week. Maybe if people were coming over or something, but other than that, I wouldn't do it.

2) There are some things I just don't know how to do. I'll admit it, there are some chores that I don't know how to do! Like ironing, not only could I not do it every week (all day) I've never done it ever! My Mother, who is also a Domestic Goddess, never liked to iron and when she did she certainly didn't teach me (she liked to do all of those chores herself).

3) I have ADD and it's hard for me to stick to a set chore list because I get distracted by other things I need to clean. For Example: I'm vacuuming the living-room, notice the DVDs/CDs are out of order and rearrange them, dust the media case, notice the TV is also dusty, dust the TV, the xbox, the computer, and the entertainment center, resume vacuuming, notice the plant needs to watered, etc etc. lol

I guess that's why I'm a Domestic Goddess and not a 1950's Housewife. lol ^_~

So I ask you: 

Are you intimidated as you read through the list of a 50's Housewives chores or do you think you could keep up? Do you follow a weekly chore list or clean as needed? Be honest! I really wanna know! :D


NOTE: This post is all in good fun and not meant to make anyone feel bad. Every Domestic Goddess (and 50's Housewife) has their strengths and weaknesses. ^_~ <3